Loss and grief

• Losing a baby is one of the most painful experiences.
• Your grief may feel overwhelming, but help is available.
• Learn how to deal with your partner, family and friends.

share |e-mail |print

My husband didn't cry when our baby died. Why not?

Even if you and your partner agree on lots of things, you may show your grief over the death of your baby differently. Everyone grieves in his own way. In general, men aren't as emotional as women. They may feel that they're supposed to be strong and tough. They may not know how to show their feelings. They may think that talking about their feelings makes them seem weak. They may want to try to work through their grief on their own rather than talk to you about it or ask someone for help.

Even if he doesn't show it like you do, know that your partner is in pain after the loss of your baby. Know that each of you shows grief in different ways. Be patient with him. Ask him to talk about your baby and his feelings. But let him grieve in his own way. Eventually you can come together and find ways to remember your baby.

When can I try to get pregnant again?

For most women, it's best to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again. This amount of time is best if you miscarry, or if your baby is stillborn, or if your baby dies after birth. Waiting this long gives your body enough time to heal between pregnancies. Also, giving yourself this time may help you feel less worried about your next pregnancy. Depending on your age or other medical reasons, you may not be able to wait this long. Talk to your provider about what's right for you.

What should I do with all the baby things?

You probably already have baby things at home, like clothes, blankets, toys and furniture. Leave them where they are until you're ready to put them away. There's no timeline. You can put them away in a few days, in a few weeks, in a few months - whenever you’re ready.