Loss and grief

• Losing a baby is one of the most painful experiences.
• Your grief may feel overwhelming, but help is available.
• Learn how to deal with your partner, family and friends.

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When you are ready, it's important for you and your family to remember your baby in ways that are special.  Even if you may not have had the chance to see, touch or hold him or even give him a name, there are things you can do to help you remember your baby.

Collect things that remind you of your baby.  These might be ultrasound pictures, footprints, a hospital bracelet, photos, clothes, blankets or toys.  Put them in a special box or scrapbook. Do or make something special to remember your baby.  You may want to:

• Light a candle on special days and holidays.
• Say a prayer.
• Write a poem.
• Paint a picture.
• Plant a tree or a small garden.
• Have a piece of jewelry made, perhaps with the baby's birthstone.
• Donate to a charity or give something to a needy child who is about the same age as your baby would be.
• Get involved in a special project dedicated to your baby, such as raising money to build a swing set in a park in your baby’s name, or volunteer for a local charity.
• Have a service to honor your baby.  This can be a memorial service, funeral, or saying Kaddish (the Jewish prayer for the dead).  It can be at your home or at your place of worship.  It can be with just a few people or with all friends and family.  It may include burying your baby or spreading his ashes in a special place.  A service can give you a chance to say goodbye to your baby.  And it gives you a time to share your sorrow with family and friends.
• Have a special time to remember.  Pick a date that’s meaningful to you--your baby's birthday or the day he died.  Do something on your own, or bring family and friends together to remember your baby.

Order bereavement materials
Order our resources for grieving families, including the booklet From Hurt to Healing.