While you may feel like there are many barriers between you and your baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), know that there are also many ways to overcome them. You can feel connected and close to your baby in this setting, and it's very important—both for you and for your newborn.

Tips for Connecting to Baby

• Focus on your baby. Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy special moments. While it’s normal to feel anxious, breathing deeply may help you feel calmer and able to tune into your little one.

• Pay close attention to your baby’s cues. If he arches his back, change or hold back your touch. If he calms when you cup his head and feet with your hands, use that technique to soothe him. If he turns toward you, offer him eye contact or a gentle voice—or both. If he turns away when you talk, but toward you when you sing, he’s showing a preference for that kind of voice.

• Follow your baby’s actions and level of interest. When your baby turns toward you, see what kinds of voice or facial expressions hold her interest. When she turns her head or looks away to rest, you can rest, too. When she’s ready, she’ll look toward you again. Then you can respond by talking, singing, or smiling and making eye contact. By following your baby’s lead, you encourage her to stay calm and attentive. And remember that sometimes your baby won’t be ready to come back for more until after a good nap.

• Provide a calming touch, voice or activity. Try talking in a soothing voice, singing or reading to him, swaddling him in a blanket, cupping his head and feet with your hands, cradling him in your arms, rocking him, or holding him upright on your chest or shoulder. By helping your baby stay calm when he’s awake, you help him stay alert without becoming overwhelmed.

• Take photographs of your baby. In the NICU, you are focused on your infant's health and may not be thinking about taking pictures of your baby. But photographs can be very meaningful for families during this time. You can take beautiful photos of your baby while she is in the NICU. Bring a photo of your baby home with you at the end of the day to feel connected with your newborn. Share photos with your baby’s older siblings, other family members and friends who cannot come to the NICU very often. Photograph memorable moments, such as when your baby first opens her eyes, kangaroo care and sibling visits. These photos are memories forever.

• If possible, decorate your baby’s space. Though the hospital is not very private or cozy, work with the staff to try to make it a little bit more like home. You may be able to bring a blanket to drape over the incubator. Ask the medical staff if you can place family photos or small toys in or near the incubator. You may be able to leave a cloth with your scent or a recorded tape of your voice or some special music, so your baby is reminded of you when you are away.

• Holding Your Baby Close: Kangaroo Care has more ideas.