You've had a premature or sick baby. If your baby was premature, most likely you're still reeling from the shock of your baby's arrival weeks or months before the due date. You may never have fully adjusted to being pregnant, much less to being a new parent. You may feel distant from your baby—and the busy, hectic neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) environment doesn't make it any easier. But this is an important time for you and your baby to get to know each other and for you to gradually take on your important role as Mom or Dad.

Feeling More Confident
Here are some suggestions to help you feel more confident as a parent in the NICU:

• If this is your first baby, remind yourself that all new parents feel anxious and unsure. Of course, these feelings are more intense because you have a baby in the NICU, but they are also a natural part of being a first-time parent.
• Even if you're an experienced parent, you may feel  anxious and unsure. Remember that parenting in the NICU is different and challenging. It's natural to feel like a beginner as you learn how to meet your baby's unique needs.
• Be patient with yourself when you feel awkward or hesitant. Nobody expects you to be comfortable with your baby right away. Give yourself the time you need to adjust and feel more confident with your baby. 
• If you are afraid to make mistakes or show your inexperience, you may find yourself backing away from your baby. Try telling your baby's nurses that you're unsure of yourself. They can give you the support and practice you need to become skilled at taking care of your baby. 

August 2009

Excerpted from the March of Dimes booklet, "Parent: You & Your Baby in the NICU", written in collaboration with Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D., and Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D., authors of "Parenting Your Premature Baby and Child: The Emotional Journey."