During your baby's neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) stay, your partner can be your greatest source of support. But there may be times when you find it difficult to deal with each other. The painful feelings so common to the NICU experience can add stress to your relationship. These tips can help you weather the crisis together:

• Expect that you and your partner may differ in your experiences, feelings and ways of coping. It's only natural that your reactions will be as unique as you are.
• Share your thoughts, feelings, information and burdensome tasks with each other. Lean on each other's strengths and forgive weaknesses. Recognize that, in spite of your differences, you both want what is best for your baby.
• Manage conflict in constructive ways. Be willing to listen and compromise. Hold on to mutual respect.
• Empathize with each other. When your partner is venting, don't try to fix the situation or try to talk him or her out of negative feelings. Just listen and understand. By supporting each other this way, you offer the most effective comfort.
• Make time to kindle and nurture the foundation of your relationship, so that you can turn to it for strength.

Additional information and support for families with babies in the NICU can be found at Share Your Story, the March of Dimes Web site for NICU families.

August 2009

Excerpted from the March of Dimes booklet, "Parent: You & Your Baby in the NICU", written in collaboration with Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D., and Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D., authors of "Parenting Your Premature Baby and Child: The Emotional Journey".