Early in this new year it is important for us to recognize all of the families that are gripped each day by the powerful and sorrowful circumstances of having a sick or premature baby hospitalized in a NICU.
Through March of Dimes NICU Family Support® we are bringing information and comfort to these families each and every day in hospitals nationwide. The following is an excerpt of one of our NICU Family Support Specialist's experiences providing support to one family. Her name is Lori Gunther and she is a Masters level Counselor and a former NICU parent. This is her story:
One evening, a father approached me in the NICU and asked if I could take a photograph of his son. Because the NICU was closed for medical rounds, he had not been able to see his newly born baby yet. I took the photograph and gave it to him.
Several days later he came to my office and told me that his son was going into surgery and wondered if I could take some black and white photos of him. I said yes and asked if he had ever held his baby. He said he had not. I walked into the NICU and saw his wife. If she could have crawled into the incubator, she would have.
I asked the nurse who was caring for the baby if the parents could hold him. I said I knew how sick he was and that he was connected to a million things, but underneath all the wires was a beautiful newborn baby boy. Five minutes later three nurses were helping the parents hold the baby for the first time. The mother kept saying "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea what this means to us."
Several days later, I looked for the baby and the family to give them the developed photographs. I was told that the baby had died the night before. There were voicemails from the father saying he would like to come for the pictures. When he arrived in my office he was in tears. I held this man three times my size as he cried, and said I was glad I could help. He just looked at me and said you did more than help….and then he was gone.
A week later I came to work and found a box on my desk. It had a plaque in it from this family that thanked me and the March of Dimes for all we had done.
TO
LORI GUNTHER
Thank you for everything
You helped us hold our baby
for the first time and
for that we will never forget you.
You're the greatest.
Devin Yando's Family
I would never need a plaque to remember this family or this amazing child who lived only 10 days. They will be with me forever. And then I realize this is what I am here for. My job is to ask for the things that people are afraid to ask for. I am here to affect change, to help families. As I look at my own pregnant belly I know I would want the same done for me.
Lori Gabriel Gunther, MA
NICU Family Support Specialist
Albany NY
Update: Lori Gunther gave birth in October to a healthy baby girl, Katherine Grace Gunther.
In memory of Devin Yando.
