1) Above all, be true to yourself. Know your values, and be guided in all things by your own conscience. If you encounter situations that threaten your personal moral code, act in ways that are consistent with your own principles.

Each of us has a moral compass that guides us. Our compass is set by the values we learned from our parents and grandparents and other significant individuals, by our religious beliefs, by the values of the society-at-large, and by our personal experiences. It is this internal guide that helps us know right from wrong and also helps us navigate difficult problems when we encounter them.

Many of us have similar points on our compass — we obey the same laws, we recognize common political institutions, we aspire to do good, and we hope to be worthwhile and productive. Within our commonality we also have distinct differences that are shaped by our individual backgrounds and experience. These are the principles and values that make us unique and that inform the inner voice that guides our choices and actions.

For Example...
Delores and Linda are both mothers of young children who spent long periods of time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Both children have significant special health care needs and their parents interact frequently with health and special education professionals. Delores and Linda are both committed advocates for children with special needs. Together they developed a support group for parents of children with disabilities.

Dr. Jones serves as the medical advisor to their support group. She believes that parents have important experience to share with health professionals and has worked very hard to find an opportunity for Delores and Linda to speak to medical students at the university. She is finally granted permission by the university dean.

When she invites them to speak, Dr. Jones asks Delores and Linda to be very gentle in their presentations and to focus only on the positive experiences that their families had in the NICU. Dr. Jones knows that both Delores and Linda had some very difficult experiences, but does not want to jeopardize this opportunity by having them "come on too strong" with the students. She hopes that their presentation will be the first of many.

Delores and Linda are thrilled about the opportunity to talk with the medical students. It is something they have wanted to do for a long time. When they learn about the limitations on their remarks, however, they are disappointed and a little angry. They really want the medical students to hear an accurate account of their experiences -- both the positive and the negative. They spend a lot of time talking about their decision and pondering the best thing to do.

They realize that it would be dishonest to accept Dr. Jones's invitation and then to violate the conditions by including the more difficult parts of their stories when they speak to the students. And so they must each decide whether to participate, even under the limited conditions. Delores decides that the opportunity is so important that she will agree to only share the positive parts of her story. She hopes that this first effort will lead to other opportunities and that if she can build their trust she will eventually be able to share the more difficult aspects of her experience. After a lot of thinking, Linda decides that she cannot participate. Even though she wants to speak with the students, she feels she would violate her own principles if she left out the negative parts of her story.

As the example  shows, consumers can act in highly principled ways and yet reach different conclusions about what is right for them. Delores and Linda behaved in an ethical manner toward Dr. Jones and yet each is guided by her own conscience when making her decision. When we know what our values are and stay attuned to our inner voice, our behavior will be principled and our actions will be consistent with our most deeply held convictions.