The Double Sorrow of the Grandparents

As the grandparents of the baby who died, you are not only dealing with the pain and grief your child is experiencing, you also must deal with your own loss—and with your feelings of anger and of being cheated of the joy of a long awaited grandchild. Grandparents often feel helpless because they cannot take away their child's suffering.

Sometimes, grandparents don't know how to offer support. They find it too painful to listen. But you can ask what you can do to be helpful. What do I say? provides more information.

Sometimes, taking part in acknowledgments of the baby's life, attending the funeral, or lighting a candle or planting a tree can help you to feel more supportive of the grieving parents. Remembering your baby has more information.

Do what you can. Try to understand that you cannot take away the parents' grief, but you can acknowledge that the baby was a part of the family, even if only for a brief time, and allow the parents to grieve in their own way.